And I seriously have nothing to do. Really.


JOKE #1
There was this lady who always thought LOL meant "Lots of Love". She managed to go through computer life without incident for a while.
One day, the mother of a dear friend of hers passed away.
She sent her the following message: "Sorry to hear about the death of your dear mother, LOL"
For some reason she never heard from her again!

JOKE #2
A boy and his father were playing ball in the front yard when the boy saw a honeybee. He ran over and stomped it.
"Don't do that, that was a honeybee," his father said, "he wasn't doing anything to you. For killing him you will do without honey for a week."
Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped on it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "he wasn't doing anything to you, and for killing him you will do without butter for a week."
The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy eating his toast plain with no honey or butter.
Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped on it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?"
So the father hanged himself to death after that.

JOKE #3
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
"1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better."
And Jack cut off his balls upon seeing the results.

JOKE #4
Muntheking went to the bank one day,only to discover that the bank is closed. Then he decided to go to the food court to buy some food. And like the bank,its closed. He decided to relieve his frustrating stress so he went to the arcade to play some games and it is also closed. So he decided to kill himself to end the misery. And when he reached to the gates of heavens,it states "CLOSED DUE TO THE LAME JOKES OF YOUR BULLETIN."

Ok ok, they sound a bit lame. Haha.

Loves,
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